Secrets to a great conversation

Making successful small talk with someone you've just met isn't rocket science, but it does demand more effort than just tossing out a tired opening line. The added pressure of a social situation — a date, a party, an encounter at a singles club — may tie your tongue into knots. To get the ball rolling, here are six practical suggestions for starting a conversation when you don't know what to say:

1. Flattery will get you everywhere
Complimenting the object of your interest will start things on a positive note. People are inclined to think well of you if you indicate that you think well of them. The trick is picking out what to compliment. Good: 'You have such lovely long fingers. Do you play an instrument?' Bad: 'Nice tits'

2. Make use of props
Women work hard choosing their accessories, and anyone who notices wins points; 'Those shoes are fantastic. Are they comfortable?' Women aren't the only ones to appreciate being noticed, and men will also love having a well-chosen tie or pair of cuff-links pointed out.

3. Carry conversational ammo
Always carry a book or newspaper. Then, if your new acquaintance doesn't have anything obvious to remark on, you have; 'Have you read this?' Look out for any openings provided by your date too, such as an unusual mobile phone, or cool gadget.

4. Fun & games
Find out what the other person does for fun. People love to share their enthusiasm for their hobbies. If you meet someone jogging, see if you can spark some small-talk over your shared interest. Finding common ground between you both should provide plenty of scope for some enthusiastic chat.

5. Avoid Yes/No answers
A question demands a response, which is the essence of conversational give-and-take. But a yes/no answer can bog you down in a monosyllables. Think like a reporter: Ask who, what, when, where and why. Instead of, 'Did you see the latest Brad Pitt film?' try, 'What did you think of it?'

6. Listen
Shy people who have trouble making conversation are so anxious about what they are going to say next that they don't listen to what the other person says. Every answer to your intriguing questions opens up new conversational avenues to explore. Follow up on those leads. As an added bonus, the more you concentrate on the other person, the less your palms will sweat, the fewer words for you to stumble over. And your new acquaintance is bound to be charmed by your astute appreciation of his or her own qualities.